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COACHING

Emotional intelligence for parents

MAJA WĄSAŁA / TRAINER

In most cases, parents, thinking of their children, dream of their happiness and being successful in life. How do they get there?

In many ways – practicing parenting of intimacy, taking child to the pool, karate, dance or sensory integration classes. They choose what they can afford and what they think is right, from the variety of the market, which is a marketing playground.

There are also parents who consciously choose the lack of tennis, karate and Japanese in the lives of their children. For various reasons – lack of money, time, opportunity or desire for comfort.

There are also those who have tried many ways and feel lost. They want the child to be self-confident, intelligent, cheerful and energetic, open to others. Finally, it’s all about one thing – to equip your child with a life GPS, or in other words skills that create emotional intelligence. Today’s story is for those who want their child to be able to cope itself, with other people and with life itself. So…

Parents, thinking of their children, dream of their happiness and being successful in life

One woman raised her daughter alone. She came from a small village and when she started to live in a big city, her desire for her daughter was to have a better life. But nothing went as she had wanted and planned. Malika – her daughter, she was shy and even in the group of her peers, she looked for her mother. Nothing interested her – no other children, no painting, no books, no bubbles. She was only interested in sitting on her mum’s knees and hugging her.

It was very worrying to Malika’s mom. Very.

So she decided to seek help. Together with Malika, she went to the best specialist in town.

– You have to tell the girl that she’s beautiful, gorgeous and courageous – said the specialist. – The more often she can hear it, the faster it becomes reality for her.

Day after the day mother repeated to Malika, that she wass beautiful, wonderful and courageous. But the only thing that changed was that Malika was getting more and more on her mother’s knees.

The woman decided to go to another specialist. She waited for a visit for half a year.

“Finally, it’s all about one thing – to equip your child with a life GPS, or in other words skills that create emotional intelligence.”

– You have to massage your child with a special touch, which I will teach you. It will make the child open up to other people. I guarantee it to you.

And again, the woman touched Malik for weeks on the advice of a specialist. She touched her with thumb, hand, forearm. Stronger and gentler. Nothing changed, however. Malika still clung to her mother and did not want to leave her even for a moment.

Another expert recommended systematical drinking juice from special heart tree. Yet another, common meditation into the full moon, and the last – teaching the child a special warrior dance.

And maybe all these methods and recommendations were good, but they did not work for a little, scared girl.

It would probably last forever if, but for one incident. One day a woman went with Malika for a walk to a nearby park. Malika ran a few steps and brought her mother a leaf or flower.

– Is this your daughter?

The woman looked aside and saw the old woman smiling at Malika.

– You have to tell the girl that she’s beautiful, gorgeous and courageous – said the specialist. – The more often she can hear it, the faster it becomes reality for her.

– You have an unusual baby – the old lady said.

– Really? – the woman was surprised.- She’s so difficult.

And unasked, she told the old woman the story of how much she wanted to find happiness for her child.

The old woman listened, showing understanding. When the story was over, she looked at the woman, smiled and said:

– You are an extraordinary mother and wonderful woman. When you REALLY see it, you will not seek any help for your daughter. YOU ARE THE SOURCE.

The woman felt a strange tremor in her heart. No one has ever told her that way. She opened her eyes to look at the old woman and what she saw was Malika’s face. For the first time in a long time, she has seen her so closely. She was really unusual and reminded her of someone she had forgotten long ago.

It was her own child’s face.

This article was produced as a result of the “Competence Improvement Program”, implemented by the Innovation Development Foundation.

Project is co-financed by the European Union Erasmus + (Action 1 Educational Mobility, Mobility of Adult Education Staff, Agreement number 2016-1-PL01-KA104-025815).

This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein.

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